


One more minute

by DiCreation



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV), The Umbrella Academy (TV) RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Canon Related, Depression, Drug Addict Klaus Hargreeves, Drug Addiction, Drugs, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Falling In Love, Feels, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Gay Bar, Gay Male Character, Ghosts, Hurt Klaus Hargreeves, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Klaus Hargreeves Needs Help, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Loneliness, Love, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Pain, Pansexual Klaus Hargreeves, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Klaus Hargreeves, References to Depression, Suicide Attempt, Trauma, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2020-12-23 17:54:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21085424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiCreation/pseuds/DiCreation
Summary: The apocalypse was prevented, without the  Hargreeves siblings having to jump through time. After that, everybody scattered again. Klaus is staying in a halfway home facility for recovering addicts. He is still struggling with his addiction, his powers, childhood trauma, war PTSD. He's still homeless, unemployed and lacks any sort of plans for the future.A young idealistic social work student arrives at the facility and falls for Klaus,because how can you not to?! But Klaus is still grappling with the loss of the love of his life - Dave. When trying to stay sober in order to at least see Dave's ghost doesn't work, Klaus turns to drastic measures...





	1. Beautiful stranger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A young social work student arrives at a halfway-home for recovering drug addicts and meets Klaus Hargreeves.

***  
…Dawn was the first one to wake up. Took her a second to realize she was awake, and then she blinked and opened her eyes. Klaus was still asleep, with his face tucked in the soft spot between her neck and shoulder. She could feel his warm breath on her skin, shallow and steady, as if he was sleeping in his own bed, in his own house. Sleeping like a baby. Their arms were still around each other. Last night they fell asleep like that, not even spooning but holding each other tight, holding on to each other, as if otherwise, some hostile force might rip them apart and blow them away. Tucked together, trying to keep each other warm, just like a couple of stray kittens in the box.  
Klaus’s eyelashes tickled her neck. He opened his eyes and looked up at her. “What time is it?” – He asked hoarsely. Dawn felt around for her phone. It was 6:25 AM. Also, there were 12 missed calls from her mom.  
Well, shit. 

***  
The facility was situated downtown, a shabby old mansion crammed behind shops and office buildings. It was sort of a “halfway home” for recovering addicts, ran by a non-profit organization.  
Dawn went up a solemn flight of stairs and gently rapped on the front door, also very big and solemn, made of heavy old wood. Nobody answered. She knocked harder, and only then noticed a tiny, painted-over button of a doorbell.  
Finally, the door opened. There was a guy holding a huge pile of musical instruments.  
“And who the hell are you?” – He asked, without as much as “hello”.  
“Uhhmm… I’m Dawn Peterson?.. I talked to Joan on the phone before?.. “  
He opened the door wider using his foot, and somehow managed to shake her hand from underneath all the instruments. “Klaus” – He introduced himself. “Come on, I’ll take you to Joan’s office”.  
She followed him through an empty hall, up the stairs and into a long, dimly lit corridor. The walls were peeling. The floorboards were screeching. The whole place vaguely smelled of dust, antiseptic and old food. “Community service?” – He asked her above the shoulder. Dawn snickered. “Practicum experience, actually. I’m a social work student”. He glanced at her wildly, dropping all the instruments with a terrible noise. A guitar, a saxophone, three or four tambourines, a small xylophone, a reedpipe, a pair of cymbals and a triangle.  
Only now she noticed how quite the building was.  
Completely ignoring the instruments, Klaus stared at her. “So, what do we have here? A tiny little fledgling of a social worker? You just want to help the less fortunate, is that it?”  
The eyes that stared at her were beautiful. They made her think of jades and aventurines, of forest lakes surrounded by lush growth. He was wearing something ridiculous, but even his weird clothes couldn’t hide how pretty he was.  
“Huh?” – She blushed and lowered her eyes, scared he might read her mind like an open book. She was never good at hiding her emotions. Klaus scratched his little goatee and smiled. It was the most beautiful human smile she has ever seen.  
“Give me a hand?” – He gestured towards the instruments, scattered over the floor. – “Oh, of course” – They started picking up the instruments. When their hands accidentally touched, Dawn blushed even more and pulled her hand away, as if she just touched boiling water. Klaus was piling up the tambourines, and didn’t seem to have noticed anything. “God, I’m such an idiot” – She thought desperately.  
***  
Joan, the director of the facility, was probably in her fifties, slightly overweight, with a kind and tired face. She wore no make-up, and her hair was tied up in a no-nonsense bun. She welcomed Dawn in her tiny office, and after a short interview told her what they needed help with. (Pretty much everything).  
“We exist on donations, purely on peoples’ kindness” – She told Dawn. “Not just money donations – we also get food, clothing, art supplies, some people come to volunteer. But it’s barely enough. We have to pay our therapists, buy medications, pay the bills. We inherited this building almost fifteen years ago, and don’t get me wrong, I’m very grateful – but it’s crying for renovation. Most of our residents have no money and nowhere else to go. So we would take any help we can get”.  
Dawn cleared her throat, trying to shake off the heaviness. “That’s what I’m here for- to help in any way I can”, - She chirped. Joan nodded.  
“Don’t worry, it’s not that bad” – She suddenly smiled. “And the people are lovely, you’ll see”.  
“Yeah. Okay.” – Dawn swallowed hard, tucking her hair behind the ear. “Speaking of which…this guy, Klaus – does he work here or…”  
“He is one of our residents” – Joan said sharply.  
“Oh.”  
“Yeah. He is a sweet a kid, but with a very heavy luggage”.  
“Right”.  
Joan took a long, hard look at her, as if she wanted to add something, but then she just smiled and shook her hand. “Welcome aboard” – She said.  
The very next day Dawn had her hands full.

***  
On her third time there, she just walked into a party. It was a farewell party, one of the residents was leaving. Nobody bothered to give Dawn a heads-up.  
Music was playing, but not very loud. Or maybe it was the size of the room, the sound was getting lost there. The room was huge, probably back at the day it used to be a ball room or something. There were about 30 residents, staff, volunteers, a big table with snacks, and still it looked empty. It was just as peeling and sad as the rest of the place, and some balloons and decorations didn’t make it look any better.  
As she walked in, Joan nodded to her from the far corner of the room, where she was talking to some elderly guy, and Karen, one of the volunteers, faintly waved. Everybody were talking among themselves, laughing, few people were dancing by the table. Dawn froze in the middle of the room, then decided the best thing would be to leave quietly and come back tomorrow.  
“Daaawn! Is that really you?! I thought you’d be too scared to come back. Come here, baby!” – And Klaus gave her a little hug. Caught by surprise, she automatically patted his back, blushing again. He took hold of her hand, swirled her around and then held her at arms’ length. “Lookin’ good!”  
Dawn wore her regular blue jeans and a turtleneck sweater. Glasses. No make-up. That wasn’t her idea of “lookin’ good”, so she just stared at him daftly.  
He, on the other hand, was gorgeous. So beautiful it hurt. And unlike her, he wore some black eyeliner, and…”Is that glitter?!” – She asked.  
“Yep. Would you like something to drink?”  
“I guess” – She shrugged.  
“And before you say anything – there is no booze in this looney bin. Too many recovering addicts, myself included”.  
Oh.  
“So I guess there’s no dope, too? Shit. I was kinda’ hoping to score”. Klaus snorted. And suddenly the annoying, over-the-top Klaus was gone, and he was just really sweet and funny, introduced her to everybody, made her feel welcomed and comfortable, and she was so grateful.  
She would have never believed she could enjoy a random party in a place like this so much. A bit too much, perhaps.


	2. A hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the time passes, Klaus and Dawn become closer. Dawn is secretly pining for him, wondering what could have happened if they met in different time and place, while Klaus's intentions aren't so clear. 
> 
> There's a crisis at the facility, and Dawn gets to see a completely different side of Klaus, a side she didn't even know was there.

Joan wasn’t lying, the people in this place were nice, all of them – the staff, the volunteers, the residents. Most of the residents seemed surprisingly…normal. Regular. Not what she expected. She knew many of those people were struggling with various addictions, trauma, mental illness. Half of them attempted suicide at least once. Some of them did some jail time. Most of them were homeless at certain point. People harming themselves, people hearing voices.  
But above all, they were just people. Not so different from herself and everybody else she met “outside”.

***  
She was supposed to study the residents in order to understand the connection between their “socio-economic issues” and their addictions, and interview few of them for her term paper. But she also helped with office work, cooking, doing laundry and running all sorts of errands.  
The residents were encouraged to go out and find jobs. Some of them were getting an education. They also took turns doing chores and doing whatever was necessary around the house. The motto of the place was “Help people help themselves”.

Klaus didn’t have a job, neither did he study, so he has always done some extra work around the house. After a short while, Dawn noticed that he was almost always nearby, helping with whatever she was doing. They were talking a lot. He was making her laugh. They were quickly becoming…friends?.. 

Joan has warned her to maintain her boundaries. Dawn nodded solemnly, but Klaus was just too much fun to keep a distance. 

He was a living, breathing spirit of that place. Almost always cheerful and giddy, he was lifting the spirits, brightening the day. But from time to time, he had his own “bad days”, when he would shut himself in his room, or just sit quietly in the corner and chain-smoke. Seeing him like this, she was aching to hold him, but ultimately kept to herself, giving him his space. It was for the best, and probably the right thing to do anyway.   
Or that’s at least what she kept telling herself. 

She was originally supposed to come there twice a week, but after a while she told Joan she wanted to volunteer beyond her college credit, and ended up spending there three, four, five days a week. She would eat there, along with residents and volunteers. She would bring her laptop and do her homework. Sometimes she would even come on Sundays and just hang out with Klaus. 

***  
She loved to watch him. The way those dreamy eyes squint and his nose crinkles when he smiles, the way his long dark lashes flare. The way his lips form a soft silent “O” when he puffs out a cigarette smoke. His beautiful hands – cutting vegetables in the kitchen, rolling a cigarette, flailing in the air while he’s narrating one of his crazy stories. The way he thoughtfully scratches his little beard, the way his shoulder blades move under his shirt. She loved it when he put a warm, reassuring arm around her shoulders, gently ruffled her hair or sometimes touched her hand. Those sweet little hugs he gave her each time they met. 

Sometimes she liked to imagine what it would be like – to kiss those lips, to be held in those arms, for real, braced against his body, his breath mixing with hers. What it would be like to actually be with him. She knew he has been with many people, man and women, and that made her curious, but also slightly insecure. She couldn’t help wondering what could have happened if they met in different circumstances (but each time came to a conclusion that he probably wouldn’t even talk to someone like her). But at the given situation, he seemed to like her. She didn’t know or care why, she was just secretly happy he did.   
Each time she went home, it broke her heart a little bit that he had to stay in this sad, peeling place. The saddest part?.. No one kept him there against his will. He could leave anytime he wanted. He just didn’t have anywhere else to go.

***   
One day she came in and knew right away something was wrong. There was some sort of commotion. Two people passed her by, running towards the kitchen.  
“What happened?” – She asked, hurrying after them.  
“It’s Joe! His girl died!” – One of them shouted, without slowing down. 

Joe was a young guy, maybe even younger than Dawn. Looking at his sweet baby face, it was hard to believe he used to live on the streets and do drugs. Joe was also a talented artist, scribbling in his sketchbook whenever he had a chance.  
Joe had a girlfriend whom he loved a lot. In fact, he was saying she was the only reason he wanted to get clean, to become a better person – “to better myself”, as he used to say. He was studying for his GED, working part-time at the arcade, trying to save up some money. He was planning to take Izzy, his girlfriend, on this really cool trip to Alaska when she gets better.

Because Izzy had leukemia. She’s been battling it since she was a kid, as it came and went. Now it was her third round. But she was optimistic, and so was Joe. He believed in Izzy, and in the two of them, in their love, that will eventually conquer everything, bla-bla-bla. How naïve.

Joe was in the kitchen, pressed in the corner between the stove and the wall. Dawn wasn’t sure what did she notice first – the blood or the really big knife in his hand.   
He obviously tried to sever his wrists, but only managed to cut the left one. There was SO MUCH blood, or at least so it seemed. 

Joe was psychotic, crying and screaming and wielding the knife. There was a dead zone in front of him, as nobody dared to come closer. He already wounded Bob, and Bob was a big guy. Dawn heard somebody calling 911, trying to explain what was going on. But so much could go wrong before they came. So much could happen in a matter of seconds.   
“Fuck off!!!” – He was screaming, thrusting the knife forward. “Get the fuck away from me, all of you! Leave me alone!!!”

Maybe Joan would have known what to do, but Joan wasn’t there. She had a meeting in the city hall, and her phone was switched off. 

Dawn had no idea what came upon her, as she cautiously got forward, her arms lifted in surrender.  
“Joe”, - She called softly. “Listen, I know it’s hard…”  
“Shut up, bitch!” – He shrieked. “Get the fuck away from me!”  
All the blood rushed to her face at once. Her ears were ringing, as if she got slapped hard. 

To comprehend what happened next, she had to replay it later in her head, since it was so fast.  
In a swift motion, Klaus burst into the dead zone, tossing his coat into Joe’s face, and at the same time kicking his wrist, sending the knife flying.   
Joe came at him with fists, giving it everything he’s got. Klaus ducked, caught his left (severed) wrist, Joe yelped with pain and managed to punch him in the face before his other hand was also captured and he was restrained, pressed tight against Klaus’s body. For the few seconds he was struggling, trying to break free, then suddenly his body went limp and he burst out crying, desperately, like a lost child, burying his face in Klaus’s chest.   
Klaus kept holding him, firmly, but gently, his left hand stroking Joe’s shivering back, tracing circles. Joe’s hands were now on Klaus’s biceps, fingers digging into his flesh, but Klaus didn’t seem to feel it. He ran his palm on Joe’s hair and whispered something in his ear. Outside, Dawn heard a siren approaching…

Later she came to his room, with a pack of frozen peas and a cup of strong, sweet tea. As she entered, Klaus was just taking off his shirt, stained in Joe’s blood.   
A big purple bruise was beginning to blossom on his right cheekbone. There were dark fingermarks on his upper arms, and on his chest…  
“Did he bite you?!” – She squinted at the obvious teeth marks.  
“He also kicked my balls” – Klaus complained, pouting. He was a completely different person once again, nothing like she just witnessed in that kitchen not even ten minutes ago.

Dawn stepped forward, setting the tea cup on the little bedside cabinet. Looking around, she picked another shirt from the floor, wrapped the frozen peas and pressed it gently to his bruised face. “Here, hold this. Or would you rather put it on your balls?”  
“Nah” – He put his hand on top of hers, pressing the cold to his face. “Unless you want to put it there”.  
“I’ll pass”.   
“Maybe you should apply some Neosporin on that or something” – She lightly touched her fingertips to the teeth marks. “Does it hurt?”  
“Like hell. Wanna nurse me back to health?” – There was a hint to the usual mischievous glint in his eyes.   
They were really close now. Dangerously close. It made Dawn a little dizzy and all bubbly inside.

“It was really impressive, what you did down there. Real brave” – She said. “Honestly, I didn’t even expect you… where did you learn to fight like that?”  
Before Klaus could answer, there was a knock on the door, and right away Joan entered the room.   
Her pupils widened and nostrils flared as she saw them standing there together, Klaus’s bare torso, his palm on top of hers, holding the bag of peas, her fingers still on his chest.

“What’s going on?” – She demanded.  
“Nothing” – Klaus shrugged, finally letting go of her hand and moving seamlessly few inches away. “Dawn here is just administering some first aid”.  
“I heard what happened” – She said. “Dawn, could you please let me talk to Klaus in private?” 

“What were you thinking?!” – She asked once the door closed behind Dawn.   
“I…Well…”  
“You weren’t, that’s the point. You were acting impulsively. What you did there was really stupid and dangerous.”.  
“I was just trying to help”.  
“You were being reckless”.  
“Well, what was I supposed to do?!”  
“You were supposed to stay away and wait for the police and the ambulance to arrive, just like everybody else.”

“That’s kind of the problem, isn’t it?” – Klaus said bitterly. “Everybody is just watching from the safe distance and waiting, nobody’s doing shit”.  
Joan rubbed her temples, like she was getting a headache.   
“Look, Klaus. I’m aware of your… peculiar upbringing. But this is a real life, yeah? Please, don’t try to be a hero”. 

After she left, Klaus just threw himself on the bed, face down. Luckily, he didn’t have a roommate. He clenched the pillow, sinking his teeth into it, stifling a frustrated, desperate groan.   
Joan’s words burned holes in him, hurting him deeper than he would ever admit. And all those people down there…None of them stopped even for a second to think how he felt. Because he was Klaus Hargreeves, a weirdo, a self-serving prick who doesn’t take anything seriously and doesn’t give a shit about anything. And if he pulled something like that, it was either to show off and be a hero, or just because he was crazier than a sprayed roach.  
Nobody knew how scared he actually was.

He wanted Dave so badly right now. He needed him. He would give anything, do anything to be in his arms, to kiss his lips. To be able to cry on his shoulder like a little bitch – fuck it, Dave would understand. To feel his safe, comforting warmth around him, to hear his voice, so sexy and soothing at the same time.   
But there was no Dave. Just emptiness. Nothingness. Just a large chunk of his heart missing.


	3. Daveless

***

Klaus blinked and opened his eyes into yet another morning without Dave. A completely Daveless morning. Surely enough to be followed by Daveless afternoon, evening and night.

** _No Dave in the kitchen _ **

** _No Dave in the hall _ **

** _No Dave in the shower _ **

** _No Dave at all._ **

** _ No Dave at the attic _ **

** _Not even Dave as a ghost_ **

** _ Klaus is missing him badly, _ **

** _Klaus is lonely and lost._ **

Klaus chuckled at the silly lyrics appearing in his mind. “Good morning, love” – He said to Dave, wherever he was. There was nobody in the room to say or think he was weird. Not that he ever really minded that.

The reason he didn’t have any roommates because he was having nightmares and woke up screaming almost every night. Normally, people preferred to be crammed in a room with two other mates, than to get stuck with that. Also, he was one of the oldest residents in this place. Normally, people would spend 3 to 9 months there; he was about to close a year. He couldn’t go back to his childhood home (aka torcher chamber) even if he wanted to – poor Vanya ruined it to the ground. Could he really blame her, though?! And there was nowhere else he could go. He wasn’t capable of holding down a job or taking care of himself right now; all of his energy went to just trying to hold himself together, and Joan probably understood that; she never nagged him to leave. In return, he was trying to make himself as useful as possible. He had to keep his shit together, to stay sober; he had to see Dave.

He heard Dawn’s voice in the hall, on her way to laundry room. She’s funny, this one. Kinda’ cute. Unexpectedly, he enjoyed her company. She helped him pass the endless time in this shithole, took his mind off the pain. When he was with her, he sometimes managed not to think about Dave 5 minutes straight. If you think it’s nothing, imagine you had one of your limbs amputated, and you have terrible phantom pain – it hurts like hell ALL THE TIME, day and night. And then someone comes along and manages to take away the pain for 5 minutes straight each time. Just to give you a break. To let you breathe.

Too bad that now, being sober and all, he could see her ghosts. There were three of them, following her around. Zack, her father, killed himself when she was only five. He was suffering from depression and anxiety, used to drink a lot, couldn’t hold a job long enough. Her maternal grandmother, Grace, died a year ago from a heart attack. She hated Zack, she have always hated him, she knew from the very beginning that he wasn’t good enough for her daughter. Those two kept bickering even in death, and gave Klaus a major headache. The third one was just a baby. Andy. Technically, he was Dawns OLDER brother, since her parents had him before her. He died in his crib only two months old. All that was delivered to Klaus by Zach; luckily, baby Andy didn’t learn how to speak before he died, so he wasn’t chewing Klaus’s ear off like the other two. But he could stare really intensely, and was generally very creepy.

Zach wasn’t a sight for sore eyes as well; speaking of which, he had only one eye left, as he has blown half of his head off with his hunting rifle – and from that terrible, gory bloody mess his single eye was piercing Klaus. He was trying to bully Klaus into talking to Dawn, giving her a message from him – something Klaus really didn’t want to do, for several reasons. Grace was shrieking at him “Leave the boy alone!” But she herself was determined to tell him (and Klaus) how much he sucked, what a terrible person and husband and father he was, how she told her daughter not to marry him. Again and again and again, in her ghostly shrill voice which made Klaus’s insides vibrate and gave him nausea. He hated them for obvious reasons, but he also hated that because of them, he knew so much about Dawn, or at least about her family – so many petty dirty little secrets, closeted skeletons and just plain shit; it’s like he was peeping at her in the shower, or going behind her back. And he didn’t even want to know all that stuff. He really wasn’t interested.

Even less he was interested in waking in the middle of the night with Zach’s only eye staring at him, drilling into his soul. And this cold… This freezing nauseating cold, when the ghosts where near. Of course, there were others, too, but those three were sitting on him pretty tight lately. He went back to popping pills – only when he was hanging out with Dawn, because it was getting too weird – but still, it was standing on his way to full sobriety. To seeing Dave. He tried to avoid her for a while, but she was so miserable thinking she might have done something to hurt his feelings, he couldn’t keep it up anymore.

He actually wished sometimes he really was the guy everybody thought he was – a thick-skinned selfish bastard who doesn’t give a fuck. When he woke up for the fourth time at the same night, only to see that Grace and Zach fighting over his head, while baby Andy was staring, bloody tears flowing from his eyes , weren’t a dream – he realized he actually would have to do something about that.

Ah, heck. Dawn is going to think he is a paranoid schizophrenic.


	4. Skeletons in the closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The only thing I can tell you is that this chapter takes place in the bathroom.

***   
Dawn lifted her head from the toilet and gasped for air. Her throat was burning with bile. She couldn’t remember when was the last time she vomited so hard. Did she ever?!  
Shit. What the actual fuck. She just couldn’t really wrap her head about what just happened. 

“Are you okay there?” – She heard Klaus behind the door. 

“Go away!” – She shouted.

“I’m going! I just want to make sure that you are all right!”

She didn’t answer.

“Dawn? Are you afraid?” – He asked more quietly.  
“No”, - she sobbed.  
“Because there’s nothing to be afraid of” – He continued. “They are quite gross, but they cannot hurt you. And they don’t want to, either”.  
Nothing to be afraid of. Huh!.. If only someone had told him that when he was a kid, crying and screaming and wetting himself. They cannot hurt you. Took him years to realize that.

“I’m not afraid” – She muttered through the door. “I just don’t want you to see me like this”.  
Klaus laughed in relief. She is okay, or she is going to be. 

He only showed her Grace. He decided she was the least creepy of the three. He just couldn’t bare the pitiful look in her eyes, and didn’t have the energy to convince her he wasn’t crazy or high or making this up. So he brought forth the old lady. 

When Dawn finally left the stall, he was still there, leaning on the sink. She started washing her face, smearing the mascara. Klaus handed her some paper towels.  
“Okay?” – He asked again.  
“Yeah”. – She tried to eliminate the black stains around her eyes.   
“Here, let me help you” – He skillfully cleaned her face, using a damp paper towel and his own sleeve. Suddenly he notices the tiny little freckles on her skin.

“Thanks”- She sniffed. And suddenly asked: “So you have to live like that ALL THE TIME?! Seeing all those…all those…spirits?”  
Klaus nodded. “As long as I’m sober” – He said.  
“Shit, man. That must be horrible!”  
Klaus looked at her, surprised. Out of the very few people, including his family, who knew about his powers, nobody has ever stopped to think how this makes him feel. 

“So that’s… that’s why you started using?” - She asked awkwardly.   
He nodded again. “When I was a kid, my father – my adoptive father – used to lock me up in this mausoleum, with dozens of ghosts inside” – Klaus suddenly shared. “Mean motherfuckers.” - He wasn’t even sure why he was telling her that. “ He wanted me to overcome my fears or whatever. I would scream and scream, till I lost my voice, or my consciousness.”  
“Sounds like a nightmare”.  
“It was. I’m still having nightmares about being locked up there”.  
“Shit. If I were you, I would probably stay high forever”.   
Klaus was even more surprised. His entire life everybody were telling him that he was weak using drugs to hide from the ghosts, that he was a disgrace. Even Ben kept saying that.  
“Well”, - He said. “I can’t. I have to find someone. Someone who died.”. 

“Who is it?” – She asked.  
Klaus shrugged sadly. “The only person I’ve truly loved more than myself”.   
Dawn felt a little ping inside. “What was her name?” – She asked. It was the first thing that popped into her mind, in this big bowl of crazy.  
“His name was Dave. He was kind and strong…and vulnerable…and beautiful. And I was foolish enough to follow him all the way to the front line”.

“What front line?!”

Klaus looked like he just woke up, startled from a slumber. “Huh?.. Never mind. Anyway, I’m really sorry I had to do that to you. It’s just that your… relatives, they wouldn’t fucking leave me alone. Especially your dad. He can be very… persistent”.   
“I’m so sorry” – She whispered.  
“Ah. It’s really not your fault”.

She still looked pretty shaken. “Come here” – He sighed and pulled her in, wrapping his arms around her tiny frame and letting her sob into his colorful tie dye t-shirt.   
He really wished he had somebody do the same thing for him – just hold him and let him cry. Without talking, without judging. But there was no such person in the world.   
***   
Klaus has had many close encounters with social workers, rehabilitation officers, therapists of all sorts. He has always thought of them as figures of authority and never really liked most of them. Also, he never stopped to think why people chose those professions. Suddenly it crossed his mind that maybe that was because their father was a depressive drunk who committed suicide, and their opinionated grandmother has systematically ruined their mother’s life.


	5. Ice-cream cone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus volunteers to help Dawn with some errands, and their way back they stop for an ice-cream. They talk, they laugh, the have a great time. But how can it NOT go wrong? Come on, it's Klaus we're talking about.

***

It was her turn to do the “food run” – visit several grocery stores and restaurants that were working with the facility and collect the food donations. Klaus tagged along – to help her carry the stuff, and she was grateful for that. Those boxes tended to get really heavy.

While he was carrying a pile of plastic containers to the car, she couldn’t help staring stealthily at his arms. He was wearing a tank top, and she got a clear view on his well-defined biceps. There was a tattoo on the left one – a pretty big skull with a riffle behind it and some writing above, and she was really fighting the urge to touch it. Not that she thought that Klaus would mind, though. But that would be completely unethical on her behalf.

Besides the skull, he had a tiger on his shoulder blade, what appeared like a Thai temple on his perfect flat stomach (she noticed it when she’s seen him shirtless) and an umbrella inside a circle on the inner side of his left arm. But most peculiar were his palms. They were also tattooed (like, who does that?!), one with “Hello”, and the other one with “Good Bye”. That piqued her curiosity, but when she asked Klaus about it, he said sometimes he just didn’t have the energy to talk to people, that’s why he did those. She didn’t buy it, but there wasn’t much she could do about it.

On their way back, he suddenly asked her to stop the car. He saw a guy he knew and wanted to say hi.

Dawn stared at the guy from her driver’s seat. She was curious, as she has never met any of Klaus’s friends (and as far as she knew, nobody visited him at the facility). But the dude really looked like nothing to write home about, and besides, their interaction probably lasted less than a minute. After a deliberate high-five they hugged, patted each other’s shoulders and parted ways. Klaus seemed to be in a great mood when he came back to the car.

“Hey, let’s take a little break. There is a great ice-cream place just around the corner. Can I buy you a cone?”

It was a beautiful day. Dawn returned home feeling on cloud nine. Of course she knew that little crush she had on Klaus was going nowhere. But for now on, she decided to just live in the moment, and today was made of wonderful moments. In the ice-cream parlor Klaus seemed happier than she has ever seen him, telling her stories, making her laugh, being all charming. She thought of his green eyes, bright with excitement, his beautiful smile and the way he touched her hand. It felt like…well, almost like a date.

“You look happy” – Her mom noted. Dawn went to college in her hometown and still lived with her mom – they’ve both decided it would be better economically, plus she didn’t want to leave her mom all alone. But sometimes she felt a bit jealous of her friends who left to other cities, states, even countries in some cases, and were all independent.

***

The lightning stroke the very next day. As soon as she came in, Dawn was told Joan was looking for her. She thought nothing on this and came into her office with a cheerful smile.

Joan wasn’t smiling though. Her soft round face was now stone-cold and dead serious.

“Close the door” – She told her. “Sit down”.

That made Dawn feel like she was summoned to the principal’s office. But what did she do?..

For a few seconds Joan was staring at her gravely, and then she said in a gruff voice, “Right. Before I call the police, I want to hear from you what happened”.

Police?! **_Are you fucking kidding me?!_**

“What are you talking about?!”

“You went on a food run yesterday, right? With Klaus Hargreeves? What happened there?”

Dawn stared at her in bewilderment. “Nothing! I mean, we stopped for ice-cream on the way back. But nothing happened, I swear to god. It was just…friendly. Totally appropriate. And it wasn’t too long, either. The food didn’t spoil or anything”.

BOOM! Joan’s soft palm crushed into the table.

“Don’t bullshit me, young lady! Tell me the truth!”

Dawn started tearing up. “About what?! I have no idea what do you want from me!”

“How and where did Klaus obtain controlled substances?”

“?!?!?”

“Drugs, Dawn. How did he get drugs?”

Dawn’s eyes went really big and round.

“He overdosed last night and nearly died. He is in a hospital right now, after a stomach pump and blood transfusion. So I’m going to ask you one more time: what happened?”

Dawn’s palms flew up to cover her mouth in silent horror. “I don’t know” – She whispered. “I was with him the whole time. Nothing out of the ordinary. We did the round, picked up the food. And then he asked me for ice-cream. We just sat there for like, maybe half an hour. Than we came back here. Oh, my god, I can’t believe he did that! Is he okay?.. I had nothing to do with it, I swear!”

Suddenly Dawn’s face froze. “He met a guy” – She whispered. “He said it was somebody he knew from before. But they only talked for like a minute or so. Could it be…”

Joan buried her face in her palms with a frustrated groan. Dawn was sitting there, her heart frozen, tears streaming down her face. Stupid, stupid, irresponsible idiot!.. How could she be so stupid?! And so blind?! Klaus was obviously using her, playing her, and she was too preoccupied with his beautiful eyes to notice.

“I’m so sorry” – She said hoarsely. “You can call the police now. You can get me expelled. You can get me arrested. I deserve that. I was such an idiot”.

Joan lifted her head and stared at Dawn for a while. Gradually, her gaze softened a little bit. “I will do no such thing” – She said. “Do you know why, Dawn?.. Because I used to be young, too, and I also used to be an idiot. Some things only come with experience. Otherwise, how can you learn?.. But you need to be careful. Someone almost died because you weren’t paying attention. This is VERY serious, do you understand?”

Dawn nodded. **_Wouldn’t be his first time, _**she thought.


	6. Free fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Upon returning from the hospital Klaus is kicked out from the facility. So he's heading to his favorite bar, trying to pick someone up for the night, and basically find a place to sleep. But events take an unexpected turn...

***  
This was his scene, his spot, his usual hunting ground (well, one of). For sure he’ll be able to find some sucker here. A place to sleep, to take a shower, and maybe some dinner, or even breakfast. And tomorrow he’ll worry about tomorrow. Or – who knows! – it might even last a couple of days. Plus, he wouldn’t mind a dance between the sheets right now (or maybe in the shower… on the kitchen table…on the floor…). To help take his mind off things. Dave would understand. Or maybe he wouldn’t. What difference does it make?! Dave’s been dead for over 50 years. 

Klaus ordered a shot of whiskey. He didn’t have much money left, but he needed something to calm his nerves. Downing it in a single gulp, he lit a cigarette and looked around. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, who is it going to be tonight?..  
Suddenly a familiar haircut caught his eye. No, it can’t be, he must be tripping. Can it?..

He jumped from his stool and walked over, to the other side of the bar, where Dawn was thoughtfully fumbling with some ice in a whiskey glass.  
“Are you fucking kidding me?!” – He said to her slim back. She turned around abruptly, putting on a big smile.  
“Oh, Klaus, hi! What are you doing here? Are you okay?”  
“What the hell are YOU doing here?!”  
Dawn stopped smiling. “I’m having a drink after a really shitty day. Can’t you see?”  
“Let me rephrase – what the hell are you doing following me around?!”  
Dawn shrugged and pursed her lips. “Don’t flatter yourself” – She said dryly. “I always come here”.  
Klaus sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Dawn”, - He said tiredly. “This is a gay bar”.  
“Well, so…so what? I usually come here with a friend. A gay friend. But tonight he was busy, so I…” – “Oh, yeah?!” – He interrupted. “So what’s his name?”  
“What?”  
“This guy, friend of yours – what’s his name? I probably know him, if he’s a regular”.  
“Uh, his name is, uh, Tom”.  
Klaus snorted. “I hope “Uh, Tom” knows what a terrible liar you are”.  
Dawn opened her mouth to argue, but then changed her mind. Something shifted in her face.  
“I was worried about you” – She said in a completely different voice. Lower, more mature. Tired. “Can you blame me, considering?”  
“You can’t do it!”  
“You can’t stop me”.

She sounded very calm, nonchalant, a bit tired even. No daring in her voice, in her eyes, no bravado. Just stating the fact. That’s what scared him the most.  
“Okay” – He said. “Okay, we can talk about it. We can talk, right?.. Can I buy you another drink? What are you having?”  
“Scotch” – She said sharply, and pushed away her empty glass. Klaus laughed, but then caught the look in her eyes.  
“Okay, got you. Any preferences?.. Well, I’m just going to fetch us some drinks. Sit tight, yeah?”

He couldn’t afford to have a scene in this place, not THAT sort of scene. Klaus sneaked past the bar, through the back door and into the alley. Christ on cracker, this girl is a handful! Now he has to find another spot.  
But as he walked down the street, hands in pockets, he knew deep down that this wasn’t his night. He could feel it in his gut. And if it isn’t your night, it’s better to fold, everybody knows that.  
Except he had nowhere to fold to. Absolutely nowhere to go.  
It’s not like it was his first time – far from it, in fact, that was most of his mature life in a nutshell. But suddenly Klaus felt so sorry for himself. And so, so tired.

“Nice weather” – He heard behind his back. Dawn.  
Fucking unbelievable.


	7. These empty walls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus and Dawn are breaking and entering, and he finally tells her about Dave.

***

“I like it rough” – He began. “In sex, I mean. I like it when the other side takes control. I enjoy some pain during the act. Some humiliation. Being tied and shit. I hate it when somebody goes all vanilla on me, it makes me gag. It’s fucking boring”. – Somehow, it felt easier to begin with sex. It felt less painful.

**_Oh, honey, you would die of boredom with me, _**she thought sadly.

They were in this house – well, actually they _broke _into this empty house. It used to be a nice neighborhood, but the financial crisis and a wave of foreclosures turned it into a ghost town.

Breaking into foreclosed houses wasn’t his first choice, but sometimes you just aren’t given that many options. And Dawn just followed him in like it was nothing.

“But this guy... He was so soft, so gentle. He treated me like…like a princess” – Klaus giggled nervously, hiding his damp eyes. “Like I was the most precious thing in the world, made of fine china. Like I actually mattered. Me, Klaus Hargreeves.” – He shook his head in disbelief. “That dork.” – He smiled dreamily, lovingly. By the look in his eyes she realized his mind was wondering far, far away from here.

“The funny thing, though?.. It was the best sex in my life. And trust me, I’ve had plenty to compare to”.

Yeah, well. She has figured that part out by now.

“It was the small things, you know? The way he touched me, the way he kissed me. The way he looked at me. He made me feel like I was so beautiful and special and shit”.

You **_ARE _**beautiful and special! She almost said it out loud, but managed to keep it to herself. It wouldn’t do any good right now. 

“While we were…doing it, we were facing each other, so we could look each other in the eye, and kiss in the process. His initiative. He always made it a point to make sure that I came, trying to let me come first, if possible. He was always checking on me, to make sure that I was okay, that I was comfortable, and enjoying whatever we were doing. No one ever bothered, you know? Hell, even I never did. I always just kinda’ wanted to get my rocks off, that’s all. If someone was trying to pamper me, it usually got on my nerves. But with him… It was just so sweet. So deep. So… so real “– Klaus flashed her an embarrassed smile. “And it’s not just sex. He was always sort of taking care of me. Having my back. He was really there for me, you know?”

“Why is it so hard for you to believe people can actually care about you?”

“Because no one ever did. Duh.”

** _Oh, god. _ **

He went on about that guy he loved, Dave, and time- travelling to the Vietnam war, and it all sounded completely crazy, but then she suddenly remembered something.

One day, there was some construction work going on outside, and as soon as they turned on the sledgehammer, Klaus fell to the floor, pulling along the guy who happened to stand next to him. It took a split second. The next thing she knew he was lying flat on his stomach, face down, his left hand protecting the top of his head, and his right – the other guy’s. That was so bizarre. The guy freed himself from his grip and got up, ranting and cursing, and everybody were laughing. Klaus turned it into a joke, but she could see how pale he was, the beads of sweat on his upper lip and forehead, the rapid heaving of his chest.

That was bizarre. You could expect this kind of reaction from war veterans or shoot-out survivors, but Klaus?..

She thought of it for a moment, re-imagining Klaus’s white knuckles over his dark hair, his other arm thrown protectively over the other guy.

What more proof did she need?

And as he kept talking about Dave, she became sadder and sadder. If she still had any die-hard little hope considering Klaus, somewhere at the depth of her heart, it evaporated now. Because even though Klaus’s body might have been available, his heart and soul were very much taken.

By a dead guy.

By a guy who has been hopelessly dead for half a century, and wouldn’t even manifest as a ghost.

While she was all there, alive and real and warm, with so much love to give. But to him, she was no more than a ghost, and no matter what she did, she couldn’t fill this void, this dark bottomless pit inside him.

He was just like an exposed nerve, hurting so much. She could feel his pain, actually sense it. He was radiating pain, it’s like he was bleeding out enormous amounts of pain.

Dawn couldn’t take it anymore. She moved a little closer and just wrapped her arms around him.

It was like getting electrocuted, a thousand watts of raw pain jolting through her body. But she clenched her teeth and just held him closer.v


	8. One more minute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter, in which Klaus makes an unexpected discovery and has to make a difficult decision.

He was with Dave again, snuggled in his arms. It was cold – he didn’t even know it could get this cold in Vietnam! – but Dave kept him warm, and Klaus felt good, trying to give back every ounce of heat his own body generated, in order to keep Dave warm as well. Just their own little bubble of warmth in this freaking cold.

Klaus was happy. And relived. His head rested on Dave’s shoulder, his arms embracing Dave’s torso. He could sense his body heat, his heartbeat, strong and steady, his chest rising and falling with his breath. **_Alive_**. And that familiar loving energy was now encompassing him. Klaus missed it so much, he was starving for it. But now he was happily basking in love and light, not a single worry in his curly head.

“Klaus”, - Dave called quietly, and presses his lips to Klaus’s forehead. “You know I love you, right?”

“I love you too”, - Klaus whispered into his neck. It was supposed to feel all warm and fuzzy and shit, but instead, Klaus suddenly felt alarmed. There was something in Dave’s voice…

“But you also know we can’t be together.”

“Why?!”

“You know why” – Dave said softly, and kissed his temple.

**_Because you are dead,_** Klaus thought. But it didn’t make any sense. There he is, alive and well.

“You know it’s not true. It’s not real” – Dave said, as if he could read his mind. “But you know who is real? Dawn. She cares about you. A lot. And I think you actually care about her too, even though you won’t admit it even to yourself”.

“She is a pain in the ass” – Klaus muttered, trying to conceal his smile.

“Great, now you know how I felt around you”.

“Asshole” – Klaus snickered.

“I know what you are, but what am I?”

In a second, they were both chortling like idiots. Klaus closed his eyes, laughing. And when he opened them, Dave was gone.

He was back at the empty house. He was holding Dawn, and her thin, twiggy arms were wrapped around his body. She was the one keeping him warm. 

They have slept through the night snuggling and keeping each other warm. Nothing happened. Klaus just had a meltdown and wept quietly in Dawns arms, with her stroking his back and his hair, and whispering something soothing, until he finally fell asleep, completely exhausted.

Dawn was really different from Dave. Well, first of all, there was the obvious, of course – she was female. And even though Klaus never cared too much about such a minute thing as gender, females were definitely different than males.

Dave was physically big and strong, and Dawn was tiny and fragile, but in a strange way, he felt just as safe in her embrace.

She was all serious and smart, sort of like Dave, and a bit nerdy, and kind. Goody-two-shoes, just like him. And that warm, loving energy she radiated strangely reminded him of Dave. It’s like they somehow had the same vibe.

Klaus blinked, surprised by this unexpected discovery. And looking deep into himself, he was astonished to discover that Dave in his dream was right – he really did care about this girl.

Klaus just lay still, letting the discovery settle in, trying to figure out how he felt about it.

Feeling loved and cared for again felt strange. On one hand, it felt amazing. He really missed that feeling. He needed that so much.

On the other hand, it felt scary. It put him under pressure. She is so young and still kind of innocent, and she has a purpose in life. He, on the other hand, is a homeless unemployed drug addict who can see ghosts. He is going nowhere, and can’t even afford to buy her a bag of chips. And even emotionally, he wasn’t sure he could give her what she wanted. And what did she want, anyway?..

Dawn’s alarm went off. She woke up, checking her phone and swearing under her breath.

He had to decide now. He could give it a chance, find a way to stay in touch, try to make it work somehow. Risking ruining her life and breaking her heart, and maybe his own as well. Or give her the slip, disappear, never to be heard from again. And maybe loose a chance at something beautiful and real, for both of them.

He has to decide fast. But at least he’s got a minute to linger while she’s tampering with her phone, texting her mom.

Just one more minute.


End file.
